I try and steer clear of the day-to-day belches of stupidity that bubble up in our political system.  And, for the most part, I am successful.  But this Irish Catholic pro-choice fag has to chime in on this one.

Speaker of the House Pelosi, a Catholic, stated on a TV interview over the weekend that, as a practicing and devout Catholic, she is fully aware of the fact that the Doctors of the Church have never spoken in uniformity on the issue of abortion, vis-à-vis “when life begins”.  And she was promptly assailed by a collection of U.S. Bishops and 14 Catholic Democrats in the House (obviously both politically gutless and theologically challenged folk) who called for her to re-cant (“BURN HER!  BURN HER!!! SHE’S A WITCH!!).

Small fact:  Pelosi is 100% correct. The Doctors of the Church – for those of you who have been lucky enough not to be Catholic, a Doctor of the Church is a major theologian, you know, a rule/law setter – have never agreed on what does and does not constitute a morally permissible abortion, as they have never agreed upon when life, and thus a soul, is present in the womb.  Moreover, no Pope has ever issued a dictum on the issue Ex Cathedra, meaning “in the Word of God”. 

How do I know this?  Well, I am referring to the teachings of those very, very minor Doctors of the Church, St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas.  In the case of St. Augustine, that minor thinker declared that if there was no ex-utero viability for the fetus/baby, it was not human, and thus had no soul.  It ain’t murder if there is no soul.  In regards to his equally irrelevant theological comrade, St. Thomas, he created a set of gestational conditions to determine when a life, and thus a soul, was present.  Clue: it had to do with viability.

Jeez, sounds a lot like Roe v. Wade…and Jeez part 2, Pelosi was right.

So, to the rest of my Catholic Democrat brethren who so gutlessly marched in papist lock step to denounce Pelosi, go fuck yourselves.  By the way, fucking yourself is also not prohibited, theologically, by the Church.  So I am OK with Jesus for suggesting it.  Perhaps not so for my misguided Catholic brothers:  check out the admonitions in the Bible about bearing false witness against one’s neighbor.  If you can’t find the citation, check under Exodus, specifically, the Ten Commandments.  It’s Commandment number Nine.

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